Leaving

[rhia_starsong]

Well, I'm slightly happier with this version of 'Leaving', but not completely. I think it still needs a transitional image/emotion between the second and third stanzas.

Leaving

I have never been able to leave when it 
matters--
   --not you; not you, and never this place.

I stood dying in place my whole life, 
stood behind you for all these years
   I stood behind the scarred counter in that smoky bar
   catching tips and lustful glances
   I stood behind the weathered grey drying line full of your 
   undershirts and my dust rags
and then when I sprinted after you,
all the while thinking I was leading in this race of 
circular logic,
I learned that our years contained only me,
and that you
have always stood outside them, outside us.

So now here you are, falling
away from me again:
I falter, stand staring at your finely-
chiseled name,
And I want to ask you for the years
back, but I don't know how.